Boogeyman       Remember when you were a kid and the scariest thing in the world was the Boogeyman? Yeah, me neither. Still, we all know of the Boogeyman. It may not be the same story for everyone, but we know that he’s creepy and likes children (kinda like Michael Jackson).       The 2005 film Boogeyman tries to cash in on the whole “monster in the closet equals scary movie” thing, and fails miserably at it. The best moments in the film are all in the first ten minutes, which actually are really kind of creepy.       We start off the film in the room of young Tim Jensen. Little Tim is trying to sleep but his toys are casting eerie shadows on the walls and there’s a storm brewing outside his window. There’s a hooded sweatshirt sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. As he stares at the clothing it fills up and appears to stand and the shadow filled sweatshirt starts to walk toward the bed. The instant he flips on the light, the shadows vanish and the hoodie falls into a pile on the floor. Little Tim freaks out and after stuffing the sweatshirt and his toys into a drawer he calls for his father. His father tries to convince him that it’s just his imagination and intends to prove this by looking in *gasp* the closet! He is violently grabbed by the Boogeyman in a torrent of flailing about and shaky camera movements.       Years later, the older Tim Jensen, who has been scarred for life from his fathers disappearance, is living in a big city with a good job and a good-looking girlfriend. But, he is forced to return home after hearing of his mother’s death (his mother happens to be none other than Xena: Warrior Princess). Once back in his home town, Tim decides that he must face his fear and spend a night alone in his old house.       So, Tim goes to his old house and is plagued by flashbacks of his parents yelling at each other and other childhood memories. There is all sorts of dramatic build up every time he comes anywhere near a closet door... or any door for that matter. He meets up with his childhood sweetheart and some random girl that has been following him around, asking him questions about the Boogeyman. His city girlfriend comes to the rescue to pull him away from the creepy house, and she disappears in a motel bathroom.       Now, there’s all sorts of confusing stuff that happens here. While Tim is at the motel with his city girlfriend, he walks into a closet and comes out of the closet in his old room back at his house (believe me, there is a lot of coming out of the closet in this movie). When he returns to the motel, his girlfriend is gone and there’s blood in the bath tub. Tim decides that the only way to get answers is to track down the little girl who has been following him. Once he does this, he discovers that she’s actually a ghost of one of the many children that the Boogeyman has taken since Tim “released” him as a child? She tells him that her father tried to save her, but he got too scared and the only way to defeat the Boogeyman was to face him.       Ok, so, Tim returns to his old room and a tripped out chase scene ensues. Tim follows the Boogeyman through closets that lead to other closets that lead under beds and other places that Boogeymen tend to lurk. It’s at this point that the audience first sees what the Boogeyman looks like, and it’s not all that impressive. Picture a member of the Blue Man Group combined with the CG mummy from The Mummy. Seriously!       So, after following the Boogeyman around for awhile, he saves his childhood sweetheart and they return to his bedroom once again. Tim then proceeds to bolt a chair to the floor in front of his closet which he intends to strap himself into to face the Boogeyman. But, before he can accomplish this, the Boogeyman appears. The creature tries to suck the contents of the room into the closet. But, the mighty Tim picks up his old baseball bat and begins smashing all the toys that he hid when he was a kid at the beginning of the movie. The destruction of the toys vanquishes the Boogeyman and the movie ends with Tim and his sweetheart safely holding each other with relieved expressions on their faces.       Let’s face it, the movie is awful. It’s attempts at scaring the audience with shaky camera movements and loud noises fails to make up for the movie’s terrible story line. The characters have no real development, so you don’t actually care about what happens to any of them. I definitely do not suggest watching this movie if you’re looking for a thriller. I wouldn’t even suggest this movie if you’re looking for a comedy. There’s really just no point in this movie even existing.